Choices
by Lorr
Summary: A short scene at the end of The Long Goodbye, so spoilers included. I thought there needed to be a little more. Let me know what you think.


**Title:** Choices

**Author:** Lorr

**Genre/Rating:** General

**Characters:** Weir, Sheppard

**Disclaimer:** The characters and universe belong to others.

**Spoilers:** Spoilers for The Long Goodbye.

**Background:** This is a short scene that takes place right after The Long Goodbye. Hope you enjoy. Let me know.

Elizabeth Weir found herself standing at the door in front of his quarters. She stood there for a full minute, debating with herself whether to knock. It had preoccupied her mind since the day before, making sleep last night difficult. This kind of uncertainty was foreign to her. She moved back a step. No, this should wait. It was still too new, too confusing.

She turned, and there he was, a puzzled expression on his face. "Elizabeth?"

Startled, her hand nervously touched the pendant she wore. She smiled. "John!"

John Sheppard smiled back, but was still puzzled. He glanced at his watch. It was just shy of twenty-two hundred hours. His door opened. "Come in. What's up?"

As he moved around her and through the door, she saw he had been running. His hair and T-shirt were damp with sweat, and he carried a nearly empty water bottle. He also carried an orange and a piece of fruit similar to an apple that was found on the mainland. The lights came up only halfway.

"I'm sorry, it's late. We can talk tomorrow." Elizabeth stayed out in the corridor.

He put the water bottle and fruit on his desk, next to the laptop. "You're here now, so it must be important. Come in."

She walked in and the door immediately closed behind her. "It's not really terribly important, but…"

"No problem. Honest." Sheppard leaned back against the edge of the desk and watched her for a moment. He suddenly straightened. "Can you give me two minutes to get cleaned up?"

Elizabeth gestured towards the door. "I'm sorry. It isn't that important, really. I should go. We…"

He took a step toward her. "Elizabeth, it's fine. Sit down, please."

She gave up and sat down. "Okay. Please, go ahead."

"You'll wait?" He was concerned. It was not typical for Elizabeth to make late visits without prior arrangements. "I need two minutes…well, maybe three."

She relaxed a little and nodded. It would give her time to collect her thoughts. "Yes, I'll wait. Take your time."

----------

Sheppard half expected to find her gone when he came back out. He looked around when he discovered the chair was empty and saw her standing at the window. She turned and half smiled at him, but it wasn't really a smile, not one that extended to her eyes. He pulled on a clean shirt as she returned to the chair.

"Okay, what's up?" He pulled his desk chair over to sit closer.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, John."

"Sorry? For what?" He was taken aback.

"For getting you into that mess the other day. For choosing you. For letting Phebus choose you."

He could see the pain in her eyes. "Elizabeth, you didn't choose me. She did."

"But…"

"No, buts. She was in control, not you. There was no-one else in the room she could have picked. McKay and Beckett never would have agreed, and neither would Caldwell. I was actually the right choice. I had the best chance of not getting killed." Sheppard spoke softly, but emphatically.

"Part of me knows that, John. I know that. It just doesn't help to know it." Elizabeth just shook her head a fraction and looked down. "She didn't think twice about killing everyone here. And, it was my hand that would have done it."

He moved a little closer. "Phebus was insane, Elizabeth. They both were."

"Thelan just seemed to be running from her. He didn't reroute Halon gas to murder most of the population."

"Well, maybe he wasn't quite as insane. Still, he had no problems using Ronon as a decoy." He saw this didn't help. "Look, we could go back and forth for an hour about which of them did what and why. It doesn't make any difference now. It was them, not us."

She searched his eyes. "How can you accept it so easily?"

"Because I have to." His voice made her stop. She heard something of what she felt. "Elizabeth, this is the second time in a few months where I lost control of my actions and came close to killing people I care about."

Her hand went to her throat before she knew it. The motion made him wince.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" She whispered, the same hand reaching out to him.

"I know." Sheppard shook his head and took a deep breath. "What I'm saying is that it's difficult enough to deal with the choices we make, consciously and in full control of ourselves. You have to let go of the choices and actions you cannot control. Otherwise, it will eat you alive."

Elizabeth looked at him for a long time. He waited patiently. Finally, she sighed and a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"How did you get to be so wise?"

"Oh, I've been around for a long time." He raised his eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I think so. Thank you."

"Anytime." He paused. "And I mean that. Anytime you need to talk about it, or anything, I'm here."

"I'll hold you to that." She began to rise.

"Wait, where are you going?" Sheppard sat back then stood up. He crossed over to the desk and picked up the fruit he carried in earlier.

She frowned. "It's late. I should go."

He fished a pocket knife out of a small tray on the desk. "Stick around for a few minutes. I need help with something."

Elizabeth saw he was serious, so she settled back in the chair. "What is it?"

He sat down again, cut a piece of the apple-like fruit and offered it to her. She accepted and bit into it. He tried to put on his most stern face, but couldn't quite keep the mischief from his eyes. "Rodney. Damn fool shot me, and he had a choice."

She laughed, her hand over her mouth. She shook her head then nodded. "Yes, Rodney needs to be dealt with."

"Well, I suppose it did teach me not to hand him my sidearm." He grinned and popped a slice of the fruit into his own mouth.

Elizabeth's smile faded a little. "John, thank you."

He handed her another slice. "You're welcome."


End file.
